The Goal

There is a lofty abstraction above this story, a notion of meaning and purpose for my life and yours. Surprisingly, here I am uninterested in that process.

Here I want to be specific. Small and measurable — because measurement and observation is helpful! When I consider a change in my life, I consider a simple, concrete goal. I want it to be something I can quickly name, so that when others ask me (or more importantly when I question myself) about why I’m changing, I can be succinct.

This was definitely the case for my body transformation. In fact, it was the case several times during that process. The goal moved, and transformed. Really what happened is I successfully crushed several goals, and refused to celebrate my accomplishments along the way.

Rule One — Make your goal simple, concrete, and measurable (e.g. I want to lose twenty pounds; I want to have an hour of play with my kids; I want to lift forty pounds above my head safely)

Rule Two — Success allows and demands some celebration.

This is something I learned in Pedagogy, but also definitely applies here. The more of these you can define for your goal, the easier it will be to realize.

At the time, my goal felt simple, small, AND measurable. I wanted to show people that even with exercise I was a miserably depressed person and that they knew nothing about anything. I was very wrong, but also I was putting a lot of effort into a goal where success would inevitably decided by someone else.

Rule Three — Make a goal where YOU determine the success or failure. Don’t rely on others to tell you you’re a winner.

I think putting my goal into the hands of others was one of the many reasons I didn’t celebrate my progress. Like I said, I accomplished a ton through the beginning of my fitness journey, but since I was not mindful of making internalized goals I blazed past those goalposts, admittedly at a somewhat dangerous speed. Looking back, I have aimed at and accomplished (to large extent) three major goals in the past six years.

• Weight Loss — I lost a total of 95 pounds throughout the whole process.
• Lean Body Mass — I gained 30 pounds back as mostly muscle.
• Wellness — I am more capable of accomplishing a random physical task than I have ever been.

These goals are pretty far-reaching, and to date I still pursue the latter two. If you’re interested in becoming more fit, I suggest you genuinely consider your goal in line with the rules above. Once you’ve settled on a goal, consider where it fits within these three types of fitness goals. Recognizing and defining your goal within the realm of fitness will help you search for the inevitable questions that come up.

I still want to talk about success and failure specifically. I’ve held a goal in weight-lifting for several years now. I want to get my horizontal bench press to 225 pounds as part of my regular, maintenance chest workout. It’s specific and small and measurable. I give it a timeframe, and I push for it. Every year I have failed. It’s a bit demoralizing, but not dissuasive enough for me to give up entirely.

I do, however, have to face some fact. Every year I put this goal out there, and every year I fail. For the past three years, I’ve not really tried something different though — at least not a distinct departure from my hope of “well maybe now I’m strong enough.”

Einstein is attributed saying “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.”

Rule Four — When you fail, don’t give up but also don’t do the same process over and over. There are many paths to a goal.

There is often another method to use for your goal. If one way does not work, failure only actually occurs by not trying something new.

For me, I’m fairly certain my biggest obstacle with my goal is a mental one. I am so terrified of the risk I’m taking with that weight that I have established a very strong mental barrier to my progression. I can try different similar workouts to train my strength up, I can attempt the same workout with assistance on a smith press, or I can attempt to find a partner to workout with me. I’m working on it, I promise.

Lastly, success. Success is necessary but can be way more dangerous than failure. Success can build momentum, but without mindfulness that momentum can lead us to harmful practices. Remember that you’re mortal and don’t move the goal post without consideration. Moreover, like I said in Rule Two, celebrate your success mindfully.

Rule Five — Celebration should NOT be at the expense of the goal.

That’s to say, if you’re trying to lose weight, don’t celebrate losing ten pounds with cake. You can have cake, but don’t make it your goal because you’re mentally tying your successful behavior to a “negative process” for your goal.

Listen to the cake.

I wish you well in finding a goal and taking your first steps toward it. Stay tuned for more of my opinions on self-actualization among many other topics.

Not yours,

August